


By saving what they loved

by defiersofthestars



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo Lives, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, F/M, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It, and talks to our main characters, written for the Twitter event #FriendsofBenSolo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:40:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28453263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/defiersofthestars/pseuds/defiersofthestars
Summary: A series of conversations between Ben and the members of the Resistance after the battle of Exegol: Finn, Poe, Chewie and Rose. They have something to say to him, and he has it too.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 6
Kudos: 52





	By saving what they loved

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this series for the Twitter event #FriendsofBenSolo weeks ago. Finally, it's on AO3.

**Finn**

“If it helps… I truly apologize for injuring you on _Starkiller_.”

Finn scoffs. He is here for Rey, not to grant Re… _Ben_ absolution.

“It doesn’t. But thanks,” he replies finally with a shrug, his voice even.

Ben nods humbly, lowering his gaze. He is quiet, ready to hear everything Finn has to say to him after all what happened. But still, the dignity with which the former Supreme Leader holds himself even now reminds Finn he is a son of Leia Organa and Han Solo.

“Do you remember that day on Jakku?” he suddenly finds himself asking. “The attack on Tuanul?”

A look between regret and shame crosses Ben’s features, his jaw clenched. He does. He’s striving to atone for the sins of the First Order, and this assault is just one of them.

Finn continues. “You saw that I didn’t want to shoot the villagers. I know you did. Why did you let me live, then?”

A crooked smile slowly breaks on Ben’s lips, and for a moment Finn catches a glimpse of Han Solo. Rey asked him to never bring up his death; the fact that Ben believed in Snoke’s lies about love and strength is a terrible punishment itself.

“I used to call it a weak moment, you know,” he finally says, chewing his lips. His next words shock Finn to his core. “But the truth is, I envied you, I think.”

“YOU WHA-”

“Surprise,” Ben intones, shrugging his shoulders. “You were able to think for yourself, Finn, and you had the choice that I didn’t have. You… impressed me. For a second, I-I wished I could have done the same.”

Finn scans him with his eyes up and down, completely lost for words. Ben shakes his head, running his hand through his hair, and takes a deep breath.

“I’ve already given the generals all the information about Project Resurrection. I hope it will help you bring all children back to their families. Please let me know if you need anything else.”

Meeting his serious, almost painful gaze, Finn can’t help but believe him. Maybe one day, he’ll finally be able to understand what this man has gone through for all these years. For now, Rey seems the only person who knows everything about him – and she can’t hold back a smile when he’s around. And Ben, this giant of a man, visibly relaxes when he catches her gaze, as if she tells him something without a word. There is a connection between them, peculiar but… right.

Rey trusts him. Finn thinks he could give him a chance too.

“There is something I'm curious about.”

Ben raises his eyebrows in question. Finn asks:

“How did you manage to beat Chewie in dejarik yesterday?”

**Poe**

Rey asks them all to be reasonable. The war is not over, and there are still many challenges for the Resistance, and they could really use Ben Solo’s help. After spending a whole day in a bacta tank with his ankle twisted and two ribs broken, he is more than ready to provide the generals with funds, ships and any information they need to burn down the remnants of the First Order (let’s be honest, the Final Order lasted only a day) and restore the galaxy. Personal can wait.

Poe doesn’t know much about the Force, but somehow he sees the connection between Kylo Ren’s turn and Rey having calmed down after the months of her nervous tension and frustration. They had returned from Exegol together, barely alive and injured, but no one on the base dared to ask Rey anything after the short speech of hers. “Ben Solo has turned. He’s not our enemy. We killed Palpatine together. ”

For now, it’s enough.

Poe doesn’t start this conversation; Ben speaks first one day, approaching him with a slight limp after another meeting.

“I wanted to thank you.”

Poe shoots him an amused look.

“You didn’t send me to jail. You gave me time to recover and let me contribute to ending the war,” Ben explains to him before adding with a faint smile, “and I know you didn’t let Beaumont Kin shoot me on the spot.”

Poe chuckles, embarrassed by his earnestness. “Well, I believe you are more useful alive, Ben.”

Ben nods, lowering his gaze. Still, he looks more confident than ever before – and younger without a scar on his cheek, his eyes clear.

“I can say the same about you, Poe. I mean, I owe you an apology for the mind probe.”

Poe flinches, unable to control himself, the memories of that day bringing back real, sharp pain inside his head. “Kriff, man…”

Ben swallows.

“I wish I hadn’t done it. I’m sorry. I’m glad you’re fine now.”

His real voice, not distorted by the mask anymore, is sincere. Poe looks him over, remembering his first impression of that intimidating tall figure in dark clothes that caught the blast easily and kept holding it in the air while talking to Poe like nothing.

“Rey said to me and Finn you had come back,” he begins.

Ben nods carefully, as if being afraid of what comes next.

“Does it mean the dark side made you do all these things?”

There is nothing Rey could scold him for, Poe says to himself. Ben talked first. Finally, he replies, looking past him at the monitors.

“It’s complicated. Maybe, if I was strong enough and didn’t believe those lies… I hope I’ll find out who I really am in the future. I’m definitely not a politician, I can assure you,” he adds, meeting his gaze.

“Glad to hear it,” replies Poe; he can’t help but ask him. “Was it like the mind probe too? I mean, that thing with Snoke, Palpatine and your…”

“Whole life?” Ben suggests bitterly, quirking an eyebrow. Poe’s eyes widen. “A thousand times worse.”

They both fall silent for a couple of minutes. Poe looks around the room, trying to find a new topic to talk about.

“Okay,” he finally says, ruffling his hair. “I think it’s time to get some drinks. Brandy or beer?”

Ben looks confused. “Whatever you want.”

“Fine, then. Maz’s guys brought us something really special a couple of days ago.”

Surprisingly, a faint smile on Ben’s face makes Poe feel better too.

**Chewie**

The last time Ben saw Chewbacca was in Interrogation Six, when he inserted himself into the Wookie’s mind only to come across the memories about his parents and himself – happy, naive, full of joy. “Uncle Chewie” was really scared of him – _of Kylo Ren_ – at that moment.

Now, hearing his loud footsteps so close, Ben feels his stomach clenching, his throat tightening. Rey knows what’s happening to him, and her hand reassuringly strokes his shoulder.

“I talked to him while you were unconscious. He knows you regret what happened. He knows the darkness has gone.”

Ben dares to look at her, so caring and full of hope. Rey kisses his cheek and steps aside, just when the Wookie enters the room.

Clenching his fists, Ben looks right into his black eyes. Suddenly he feels the same sharp pain in his side, just like on the day his father died. Chewbacca could easily kill him. But he didn’t. This made the monster inside Ben even angrier – how was it possible to love him even now?

The Wookie slowly scans him from head to toe, without making a noise. Rey’s gaze darts between them, her expression now cautious.

Finally, Ben can’t stand the silence any longer.

“Chewbacca, I’m…I’m so sorry.”

Ben’s voice gets cracked, his chest aching. “This can’t change anything I’ve done, but I want you to know that. I would do anything if I could change the past and save their lives – and not hurt you.”

His father wanted to help him find peace, even at the expense of his own life. His mother sacrificed herself to remind him he will be loved despite everything. And she also helped him come back to Rey.

Ben feels his cheeks wet with tears. The Wookie raises his head and hums.

“What did you call me when you were a kid?” he asks strictly. Ben’s jaw drops.

“Tell me!” a low growl escapes his mouth.

Rey flinches, as if ready to rush forward and shield Ben with her body.

“U-uncle Chewie,” Ben manages, digging his nails into his hands.

“Mmmmm, smart Solo boy. And did I ask you to call me otherwise?”

Rey can’t help but chuckles. Ben feels dizzy.

“N-no?”

“Exactly!” shaking his head disapprovingly, the Wookie spreads his arms. “Let it be the last serious mistake of yours, my little starfighter.”

A second later, Ben finds himself enveloped by rich brown fur that smells childhood.

Chewie’s chest vibrates as he mutters, _“How could you think we don’t love you, you nerf herder… You should have talked to me, and I would have blown Palpatine’s kriffing head off!”_

Ben laughs, his face tickled and warm with more tears. It’s not so simple, but he has no intention to tell the Wookie about it.

“Thank you, Uncle Chewie.”

“You’re home now,” Chewie purrs, ruffling Ben’s hair like if he was still a kid. He can read Rey’s mind as she joins them, her fingers brushing against his shoulders: _“You are.”_

He nods, eyes still closed, feeling love blossoming in his chest.

**Rose**

Rose notices him throwing glances at the hangar. This is the first time since Exegol when Ben Solo is on his own on the Resistance base: Rey had to join Poe and Finn’s mission to Hutt Space and will be back in several days.

Rose knows about their unique Force connection, but she also understands there is no substitute for real touches and looks (and the way Rey and Ben sometimes look at each other goes far beyond gratitude for saving each other’s lives).

Rose was among the first members of the Resistance who had supported Rey’s decision to bring Ben Solo (aka Kylo Ren) on Ajan Kloss: Rey’s word was enough for her to believe that now he is on their side. And he has been proving it since that day.

Rose starts to think she likes this big and shy man.

Ben looks absent-minded when Rose approaches him.

“Hey, no more important meetings for today?”

He shakes his head, a polite smile breaking on his lips.

“Would you like to help me with X-wings, then?”

“Sure, Rose,” his deep voice sounds almost happy. Looks like he really needs some distraction from his thoughts about being so far from Rey. He towers over Rose easily, but she finds their height difference rather funny than disturbing.

“Have you ever worked with them? Or there were TIEs only?”

The last question sounds casual. No blame here, but she is not going to pretend she forgets about his past.

Ben is not offended, but, following her towards the hangar, he freezes momentarily.

“My father told me almost everything about ships, and I traveled a lot with Luke who piloted an X-wing as his padawan. I think I will be able to help you.”

“Great,” Rose says before sending him a bright smile.

Together they examine two starfighters, all dents and scrapes, and start working after a short discussion. Using the Force, Ben passes Rose instruments through the air if necessary; she finds it very convenient and his repairing skills very useful.

After a while, they talk. Rose asks Ben about the planets he had visited during his Jedi expeditions, and he tells her the stories full of colors, mysteries, and strange species that can create extraordinary, fantastic vehicles out of nothing. Sometimes he sounds sad, sometimes he surprises himself by how much he remembers, but Rose is a good listener, and soon he dares to wonder aloud.

“I wish we had visited more simple places, like Naboo. No artifacts, just beauty and peace, you know.”

“Maybe the generals will decide to go there soon,” Rose says, her head buried deep between wires in the engine compartment.

“There’s so much green and water. I think Rey would like it...”

He stops himself, clearing his throat. Rose bets he flushes.

“I’m sure she would,” she replies with a grin.

A couple of days later, she watches him running towards the _Falcon_. Rey is already outside, a bunch of porgs surrounding her like a mother hen.

“I have babies here, Ben, be careful!”

He carefully steps forward and wraps his arms around her waist, peppering her laughing face with kisses. Throwing her hands around his neck, she burrows her face in his neck and holds him tightly. The porgs around them bounce and squeak, the pilots around grinning.

Rose thinks this is a perfect illustration of how they all won. By saving what they loved.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy New Year, everyone! :*


End file.
